The Lord is mindful of us!

     Today was not exceptionally busy.  However, I did have enough kiddos to keep me busy and exhausted at the end of the day.  I can truly say I LOVE my job.  As daunting  as it seems to some people, I really love it.  I hear people all the time say, "Well, I just don't know how she does it!" and "I could never do anything like that!" and "Oh you must have the patience of a saint!".  When people say this to me, I just laugh it off and usually mutter "whatever".  I love all the people I have gotten to know in the last 9 years and I will probably love anyone else that comes into my life in the next 80 years.   I do say that some days are better than others for children.  Working with many kinds of children from infants (newborn) up to 12 or 13 year olds, children with behavior disorders, children with disabilities and anyone in-between those "status's" has taught me so much.  The references people give me make me wonder what they're smoking. :P  I am not here to have people say nice things about (although it doesn't hurt), I am here because my Lord and Savior has put me here for a reason.  There is some reason I am still functional (cuz I be sick I guess) enough to be with these children.

     As I receive blessings, whether it be for comfort, or a calling or a healing blessing it ALWAYS says how mindful the Lord is of me and that all the children I come in contact with are here for a very specific reason.  Then I get chastised for not reading the scriptures as I should, BUT the blessing always ends with "The Lord loves you".  Sometimes I ask for a blessing just to know that I am loved.  I do know that every little thing that has happened to my family in the last 2 years has been for a reason.  I was slightly an in-active person just coasting along on everyone else's testimonies. I was working all the time and then exhausted on Sunday to get up and do anything other than sleep, so that's what I did.  Then, I was given a calling in church to be a Relief Society teacher, which was one week a month.  I HATED that calling.  I literally despised that.  I am a child person.  I feel so out of place and uncomfortable in front of adults that I pretty much have an anxiety attack.  I was always trying to get out of the calling and wished I would be released. 

     Then we had some interesting and somewhat very devastating news to our family.  This would change the course of everything.  It was something that I don't agree with and still have a hard time with to this day.  I remember having to give a lesson on Temple Marriage right after we received the news.  That was the most difficult lesson I ever gave.  I cried in front people, and only 2 people knew why I was blubbering.. over a temple marriage lesson no less.  It was then, that I decided to make my calling what it was suppose to be.  Luckily, I was soon released and put in to the Primary Presidency.  THAT calling there changed my outlook on what I was actually doing at church.  Where I was once a person that went once or twice a month or only when I HAD to, I then, was an important part of something.  I was needed.  We also went from sitting in the foyer because we were consistently late to being a couple minutes early to church so that we could get a bench in the Chapel.  We not only had the previous news, but we had a funeral that year, then the hubby had to change his degree with only 2 semesters left, I began working outrageous hours again, and I had some friends decide not to be friends anymore, we then had a commuter car break down and a horrible terrible no good "replacement" vehicle that left me stranded everywhere I went with childcare kids in it each time, we also had a pretty devastating summer with barely any income coming in.  We successfully made it thru December 2011 and all of 2012 with very little intact. 

     During this time, I  had only a few select people help me through this tough time.  To them, I am ever so grateful!!  I know that the Lord put them in the right place at the right time specifically for me.  HE IS MINDFUL OF ME!  I was to the point that every post I made on Facebook was a depressing one or an angry one.  I decided I needed to change.  Whatever was going on with me needed to change.  I was DONE being sorry for myself and for my circumstances.  I was taught a valuable lesson by my mother that I will not forget.  She decided that she was going to be happy.  What had happened was not her fault, and she had no control over it.  She was doing very well...  I was actually quite jealous of her for handling everything so well. 

     I had the opportunity to do a service project for a family in our ward.  A family that had their own devastating news.  I was so happy to help them and wouldn't change anything that has happened since then.  I know this family is grateful for what we did, and what we will do in the future.  The Lord knew then what I needed.  He knew that I was ready to learn and grow at that very moment.  I am sorry this family is having to deal with this trial, but I know that the Lord is mindful of them as well.  I am here and willing to help any way I can.  I only did what I thought was necessary and what I would want someone to do for me if ever needed.  I am hoping that I would never need it, but, you never know!  I know that serving others has helped me immensely.  I have been so blessed because of it.  I do know things could be a lot worse than they are.  My testimony, over the last 2 years has grown leaps and bounds.  I know that families are forever.  I know the Savior died for me.  I do know that.  I am eternally grateful and indebted to him.  I am comforted by the fact that I know He is mindful of me... lil 'ol me.  I love each of the children I care for, and I am forever grateful for my own children.  I thank Heavenly Father everyday for them, and my trials.  I am thankful for friends in the right place and the right time- even if it is "just cuz they cant get their butt off FB".  Thank you for being there this whole time!  You will never know how much those moments meant to me, and she may never read this blog post, but, I am very grateful to you!  I am only hoping I can repay this person.

     I am grateful for all of my friends and family that have also helped our family when we needed it.  It sure has been an interesting couple years, and I am hoping for things to calm down and be more of a "normal" now.  We shall see!