Questions: Do I really get what I need and does God REALLY love Broken things?!?

     Why does Satan try so hard to tear a family a part?  A family is the most important thing we as humans encounter or have.  Most of us long for a family.  A family that is trying their hardest to survive all the adversities in life but still try to live a good life are targeted the most, in my opinion.  Those families that can be weakened by worldly things will always be weakened.  Worldly adversities to me are money, health, chores and addictions, etc.  The most fighting in our home comes from the days that I feel well enough to do something and I feel slammed with over a weeks worth of 3-4 people being slobs and all the business chores.  I am suppose to be calm and loving to these people?  YES! But, when I feel taken advantage of when I do these chores and the temper just vomits all over everyone around me without, what seems like, any control on my part.  Its so frustrating to be the bread winner, be sick and have to take care of all the family chores all the time.  It's not just overwhelming to a person, but this person begins to feel resentment.  Resentment for the people love most, and I don't like that feeling. 
     How do I change this?  I'm still wondering myself.  I have spoken with a few people about this.  I am a complete control freak and that is coupled with OCD and Fibro which comes with depression and anxiety and stress (which mainly comes from my job I love dearly) and stress from the previous mentioned things in the above paragraph. I also have a temper.  All of these things work against me on a daily basis. 
     I feel that maybe my childhood has a part to play in it, however I make my own choices.  I was criticized on a regular basis on how I looked.  How I was too fat, or not smart enough and how my hair was and my clothes fit and the things I said and who my friends were.  I wanted to be in the shadows of everyone.  Not very many people remember who I am, well, that I think.  I am ok with that. I don't want people to remember who I was 20 years ago anyways, because I am not that person. 
     I always try to remember this little quote from a friend of mine, and I hope she doesn't mind my using it here, Jolene Eborn whipped <---she is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!! This up after a talk at General Conference, but here it is: "...God loves broken things...".  If we are truly are wanting to change, then we will change.  Our Heavenly Father is right ready to forgive us for most things.  He gave His son for us and The Savior gave His life for our trials, our mistakes, our happiness all in hopes that we will return and live with them again. 
     I know I am not perfect, and far from it!  I make mistakes daily, but I try to be a better person daily.  I know I need to work on being less critical of people, and tell my husband and children that I love them on a regular basis.  I have made it a goal of mine this last week to do so!  This morning I failed.  I failed miserably.  This evening was better, and I hope to continue on with the goal. 

     There is a song I like to listen to when I feel down in the dumps, its sung by Colin Raye, named "What I need"

  Thought I knew all the answers; The way my life should go; And when I used to say my prayers;
I would tell God so; It seemed He wasn't listening; I thought He didn't care; But lookin' back;
It's plain to see; He was always there;

'Cause I prayed for strength
And I got pain that made me strong
I prayed for courage
And got fear to overcome
When I prayed for faith
My empty heart brought me to my knees
I don't always get what I want
I get what I need

I'm not sayin' that it's easy; Or that it doesn't hurt; When nothing seems to go my way;
Nothing seems to work; These days I'm getting better; At goin' with the flow;
Accepting that sometimes the answer; To a prayer is no;

'Cause I prayed for strength
And I got pain that made me strong
I prayed for courage
And got fear to overcome
When I prayed for faith
My empty heart brought me to my knees
I don't always get what I want
I get what I need

Every time I've had a door slammed in my face; In time a better one was opened in its place

I prayed for strength
And I got pain that made me strong
I prayed for courage
And got fear to overcome
When I prayed for faith
My empty heart brought me to my knees
I don't always get what I want
I get what I need

Oh I don't always get what I want
I get what I need.

 

This song has spoke to me many times, when Jason had to take a different route in school or when I had to start making more money and watching more kids, or when I lose someone close to me, or when I get sick. <---pretty sure that's why I am sick now anyways so I can have my family help me more and I let reins go a little bit more, or that terrible calling I had, or the wonderful calling I have now.  I will not always get what I want, but I will get what I need.  So, I guess, what I need to remember is that I shouldn't be critical of every little thing that is done around me, and not everything has to be perfect and I will learn and grow from it.  I am proud to say that I am broken, But "...God loves broken things..." 



(Jolene Eborn made this painting, isn't she just so talented?!?)